Firepower

Here’s a challenge: name a Michael Winner film not called Death Wish. Tricky, isn’t it?

For a man so famous for being a film director, he really didn’t make very many famous films. These days, if anyone remembers him at all, it’s as a notoriously waspish restaurant critic or a smug-faced presence in car insurance commercials.

But never let it be said that this blog is afraid of terrible movie-making. Throwing any notion of quality control to the wind, Exploding Helicopter has dived into one of the dustier corners of the Winner cinematic canon, so you don’t have to.

And so we present the bonkers, twisty, unforgettable-but-not-in-a-good way thriller: Firepower (1979).

The plot

Sitting comfortably? Good. Now, maybe pop a couple of paracetamols before reading on…

This insanely confusing story begins when a scientist is killed by an explosion in his laboratory. His widow (Sophia Loren: yes, that Sophia Loren) is convinced that the untimely death is the work of a crooked industrialist, called Stegman.

Sultry Sophia turns to the FBI for help, but they’re unable to act since Stegman is living on a Caribbean island with no extradition laws. Faced with such an administrative challenge, the Feds do what any reasonable law enforcement organisation might do: employ a shady mafia boss (Eli Wallach) to kidnap Mr Big and spirit him back to the US on their behalf.

So far, so sensible, right? But we’re only getting started... Next, the mafia don calls up a retired hitman (James Coburn) to carry out the killing. And the contract killer’s first step is to recruit his secret identical twin brother – also played by James Coburn. At this point, you’re barely ten minutes into the film, and the layers of bunkum and confusion just continue to multiply and sprawl. Half an hour in, Exploding Helicopter needed to have a nice lie-down on the sofa.

Over two very long hours, the film hits you with an unrelenting barrage of double-crosses, secret identities and hidden agendas. You’re left with the sense that nobody in the film really has the faintest clue what’s going on – and if they do, they certainly didn’t tell Michael Winner.

The cast

Befitting a film that’s so all over the shop, the cast is an eclectic jumble of famous actors, familiar faces, and ‘what the hell are they doing in this?’ cameos.

Topping the bill is lanky-limbed leading man, James Coburn and Euro-cinema royalty, Sophia Loren. They’re both fine actors, but as an onscreen pairing they have all the easy rapport and natural chemistry of breakfast telly’s Piers Morgan and Susannah Reid.

Alongside them, there’s a rogue’s gallery of character and bit-part actors including the aforementioned Eli Wallach, Vincent Gardenia (Death Wish) and Dominic ‘Junior Soprano’ Chianese. Bringing a further positive, rosy glow to the proceedings is OJ Simpson who, as per usual, murders his lines with the same alacrity with which he reputedly murdered his own wife. (Fun fact: for some reason, Simpson seems to appear with puzzling regularity in films where helicopters explode.)

Anyone not already dizzy from this pick n’ mix bag of job-hungry thesps will surely be knocked out (pun very much intended) by the appearance of legendary boxer, Jake La Motta. As a villain’s henchman, the original Raging Bull turns in a performance so woefully inadequate that you’ll be wishing for one of his roundhouse punches just to get it all over with.

Finally, as a ridiculous cherry on the top, Fifties Hollywood beefcake Victor Mature wanders in from a busy retirement on the golf course to half-heartedly appear in a solitary scene. Less hole-in-one: more one-scene-and-gone.

Winner proves a winner

With such an impenetrable plot and a dog’s breakfast of a cast, Michael Winner would seem a potentially fatal choice to direct this (or frankly any) film.

Boasting a filmmaking style variously described as “crass”, “primitive” and “suitable for people who like to slow down at traffic accidents”, Bolshie Mike might appear singularly ill-equipped to salvage this project. And yet, it’s his blunderbuss approach that prevents Firepower from being a total disaster.

With nothing to be gained from engaging with the material, the reliably artless Winner simply ignores it. Instead, he simply stuffs the film with a dizzying kaleidoscope of car chases, gun fights and exotic locations – all meant to distract you from the fact that the whole thing is unfathomable guff.

And should any viewers find the movie’s sensory assault and lack of narrative sense a bit much, just remember the immortal words of its late director: ‘Calm down, dear.’ Firepower may not make a lick of sense, but it doesn’t lack for spectacle – and it’s certainly never boring.

Exploding helicopter action

After kidnapping the Mr Big Industrialist, Coburn makes his getaway pursued by the villains’ henchmen. (Incidentally, by this point it seems utterly unclear which of the ‘twin’ brothers Coburn is meant to be playing, not least to Michael Winner.)

Luckily, Old Longshanks (or his twin) has anticipated the baddies’ pursuit plans, and cannily placed a series of time-delayed bombs in their vehicles. One of them, as you can doubtless surmise, is a helicopter.

A hectic chase ensures, and after a few minutes one of the bombs reliably detonates and puts paid to a pursuing car. But that still leaves a helicopter buzzing ominously overhead and a small posse of horse-riding heavies on Coburn’s trail.

The villains close in and it looks like it’s about to get sticky for Big Jim. Fortunately, with contrived good fortune, the chopper chooses that very moment to blow up. And if that wasn’t lucky enough, the falling debris knocks out the henchmen on horseback. It’s like three cherries lining up on a one-armed bandit.

Exploding helicopter verdict

We get an all too brief shot of the helicopter blowing up, although blowing apart would be a more accurate description. The combusting chopper is clearly an Airfix-quality model, and there’s a noticeable lack of actual fire – though predictably the whole thing is engulfed in blazing flames by the time it crashes to the ground. Having said that, continuity is the least of this film’s problems.

Interesting fact

Apparently, the script for Firepower started life as a Dirty Harry sequel. Clint Eastwood can consider himself very lucky, punk, that he never got embroiled in such a ghastly, giddy mess.

Arabesque

With Charade (1963), a light-hearted Hitchcockian mix of mystery, romance and comedy, director Stanley Donen earned a deserved box office smash.

So hopes were high when, three years later, Arabesque hit cinema screens with the same formula of Hollywood stars, glamourous European locations and a racy espionage plot.

But where the first movie deftly mixed its ingredients into a delicious, light confection, Arabesque served up a congealed mess – the cinematic equivalent of school dinner mashed potatoes.

Plot

An Egyptology professor (Gregory Peck) finds himself at the centre of international intrigue after he’s hired by a mysterious Arab (Alan Badel) to decipher some hieroglyphics. (Naturally, Badel is in fact Caucasian, but absolutely nails the ‘Arab’ part thanks to some dusky make-up and a ridiculous, panto-villain accent.)

The seemingly innocent code-breaking takes a sinister turn when Badel’s girlfriend (Sophia Loren) warns Peck he’ll be murdered once he’s decoded the message. Fearing for his life, gangly Greg – whose real name was Eldred, fact fans – absconds with Loren, only to be pursued by Badel’s goons.

Admittedly, this fulsome-sounding summary scarcely covers the first 20 minutes of the film. But by common consent, Arabesque has a torturously complicated and unwieldy plot. (Greg may have solved the pharaonic riddle, but no bugger alive can work out what’s happening by Act Three.) So for the sake of brevity (and your sanity), let’s leave it there.

Suffice to say, the rest of the film involves much regulation issue double-dealing, sinister skulduggery and murderous mayhem as a bevy of unsavoury villains try to get hold of the ancient text and its secrets. And the audience tries to figure out just what the buggery is going on.

Who’s in it?

Gregory Peck plays the bookish academic who becomes unwittingly embroiled in this imbroglio. With his dark looks, formal manner and patrician air, Greg was made for austere roles that emphasised much troubled scowling and deep, introspective brooding.

But for this light-hearted caper, he’s obliged to deliver droll one-liners, engage in a whirlwind romance and insouciantly dodge danger. It is by no means a comfortable fit. Imagine Werner Herzog starring in Police Academy 7 and you’ll get the idea.

In fact, as you watch Eldred shuffle awkwardly through the film, it’s hard to not think that rascally charmer Cary Grant would have been much better for this role.

And as it happens, that’s an opinion shared by the film’s director, Stanley Donen, who’d had the part specially written for the North By Northwest star but was then unable to secure his services. Rubbing salt in the wounds, apparently dour Gregory, every time he flubbed his lines during filming (which was often), liked to remind Donen: “Remember, I’m no Cary Grant.” Ouch.

Co-starring in the film is Italian beauty Sophia Loren, widely considered one of cinema’s greatest female actors. Not that you’d know it from her Hollywood output, though.

While her European CV is full of award-winning performances in meaty, issues-led dramas, Tinseltown invariably cast her as exotic eye candy in insubstantial bits of froth. Like this movie.

And Loren’s turn here – oozing allure in a progressively outrageous array of glamourous outfits – largely renders this talented actress little more than a glorified clothes-horse.

Still, the role does bring one significant challenge. Because our long-legged lovely is called upon to look hopelessly smitten by fifty-something Eldred, while he awkwardly exudes all the sexual charisma of a kitchen fridge.

A puzzle, wrapped in a mystery, shrouded in a very confusing film

Readers who’ve made it this far (and Exploding Helicopter thanks both of you) will already have gleaned some of the reasons Arabesque doesn’t work.

The plot – and it’s hard to overstate this – is hopelessly convoluted. It’s never entirely clear what is going on, or why Peck – a fusty academic who spends his day reading dusty scrolls – continues risking life and limb to solve a mystery that neither he, or the audience, understand.

Further befuddlement is added by director Stanley Donen. In previous films, such as On The Town and Funny Face, he’d always directed in a conventional style. But he photographs Arabesque as if he’s just dropped a tab of LSD, swamping the screen with psychedelic colours, crazily angled shots or peculiar framing. It’s like totally groovy man!

Sadly, it turns out our Stanley wasn’t having a mid-life crisis or experimenting with a new style: his reasoning was entirely cynical.

After spending $400,000 dollars on script rewrites, he realised the story was still utterly incomprehensible. “Our only hope,” he confided to the film’s cinematographer, “is to make the film so visually exciting the audience never have time to work out what the hell is going on.”

Exploding helicopter action

Still, Arabesque does get some things right. And by that we mean the inclusion of an exploding helicopter.

During the film’s big climax. Peck and Loren are being pursued across the countryside by the villainous Badel, who’s aboard a Bell 47J Ranger with some machinegun-wielding goons.

Our heroes escape takes them to a large iron bridge that is currently undergoing repairs. They run on to the bridge while the baddies take pot-shots from the chopper swooping above.

Clambering down onto a gangway on the metallic structure, Peck finds a ladder that’s been left by maintenance workers.

As the helicopter flies underneath the bridge to make another pass, Greg drops the ladder into the whirlybird’s rotor blades. The damaged chopper spins off, before crashing into the river below and exploding.

Artistic merit

Judged against today’s standards the scene is pretty terrible. The special effects involve the use of a very obvious model helicopter and some extremely ropey back projection. However, allowances need to be made for the fact that this is one of cinema's earliest exploding helicopters (only two films predate it, From Russian With Love and The Giant Behemoth).

There are some nice shots from inside a real helicopter showing the panicked passengers as the aircraft plummets, out of control, towards the ground. Curiously, someone decided to add in that high-pitched whining sound effect you typically get when planes crash. It’s highly doubtful that the aerodynamics of a plunging helicopter would actually generate this noise, but what the heck.

The shot of the fuselage hitting the surface of the river and breaking apart does look good. As does the fireball it generates. Weirdly, part of the wreckage appears to be on-fire and underwater at the same time. It’s a while since Exploding Helicopter took a GCSE in science, but we’re not sure that’s possible.

Exploding helicopter innovation

Only known destruction of a helicopter by a ladder.

Interesting fact

Legendary Hollywood stuntman Vic Armstrong – listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the world's most prolific stunt man – earned his first screen credit on this film as Gregory Peck's stunt horse-riding double. But Greg did all his own worried scowling.

Tagline

Ultra mod, ultra mad, ultra mystery.

Review by: Jafo

Still want more? Then listen to the Exploding Helicopter podcast episode on Arabesque. Listen via iTunes, Podomatic, Stitcher or YourListen.