Sunday 13 November 2011

Cobra Mission 2

Why did they make Cobra Mission 2 (1989)? You might as well ask why they bothered making Cobra Mission 1? 

This ‘in name only’ sequel stars charisma-free beefcake Brett Baxter Clark as a retired soldier sent by the US Government to a South American country to help overthrow a corrupt dictator.  

For the most part, the film is excruciatingly boring. The slack editing, torpid direction, and perfunctory action sequences numb the mind like a heavy sedative.  

Still, it does at least have an exploding helicopter. This is saved for film’s conclusion. The rebels hatch a plan to kill the dictator which involves Clark disguises himself as the El Presidente’s personal helicopter pilot and flies into his stronghold. However, the ruse is quickly uncovered.  

But wait! It turns out being discovered was part of the plan! And after the rebels launch a sneak attack, the dastardly dictator tries to escape by jumping aboard the helicopter. Unbeknownst to him Clark has stashed an explosive on the aircraft which he detonates via remote control. 

Like the rest of the film, the scene is completely run of the mill. But there is one startling moment. 

Emerging from the explosion comes a body. Well, it’s meant to be a body, but it’s clearly a dummy. It’s just a strange detail to throw into the mix. Anyway, the dictator is dead. Viva la revolution! 

Artistic merit 

A thoroughly routine exploding helicopter until that “what the hell?” moment with the body. 

Exploding helicopter innovation 

At Exploding Helicopter we live for the unique. Yes, we’ve seen people jump clear of helicopters moments before they’re about to explode (Die Hard 4.0), but I’ve never seen a body emerge intact from within an explosion. What was that guy wearing for underwear? Asbestos? 

Do passengers survive? 

Possibly. Admittedly, it’s an extremely unlikely chance, but that never before seen ejection of a body from the chopper fireball does leave that question open. Could they survive the explosion? Could they survive the fall? We will it seems never know. 

Positives 

Exploitation cinema nearly always contains nudity. So, when the rebels suspect there’s a female traitor in their midst it’s not long before someone’s ripped her blouse off to find evidence of her treachery. It seems owning a pair of very presentable breasts is the worst crime a revolutionary can commit because it’s not long before she’s shot by the rebels.  

Negatives 

The direction. It's like Holland. Flat and featureless. 

Favourite quote 

“There’s half an army on our tail.” Says Clark looking at the solitary truck which is pursuing him and his comrades. 

Interesting fact 

Director Camillo Teti worked as a production supervisor on Sergio Leone’s spaghetti western classic Once Upon A Time In The West. 

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha, I love the asbestos underwear joke! Have you seen a Buster Keaton short called The Paleface? He's about to be burned at the stake by Native Americans, he escapes, finds a cabin with asbestos sheets lying around, makes what the title card calls "Asbestos BVDs", then goes back to the stake, where he survives being burnt and is hailed as their chief.

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  2. I haven't seen any Buster Keaton for over 20 years. When I was a kid they used to be on regularly. Don't remember this one - or really any of them now - as it's too long ago.

    I guess it's a shame that asbestos is considered so dangerous now. I guess the future of improvised fire proof clothing is going to look very different.

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